Christmas: love it or loathe it? Me? I love it – mostly. I love the time spent with friends and family. I love to do a few craft activities, and some baking. I love the carols, the decorations, and food. What I don’t love is when Christmas becomes a stress. After all, Christmas is a season of joy, where we can get together and celebrate. I don’t want to lose that joy because I’m stressed and overwhelmed. I want to keep Christmas simple; a few gifts, some fun activities, and happy times spent with loved ones.
The first way to keep Christmas simple is to plan ahead. One of the reasons why I’m writing this post so far ahead is so that we can get started on our plans before everything mounts up. Now is the time to be sorting out who will bring what for Christmas lunch, and organise presents. Just last weekend I wrote our Christmas letter and ordered cards (we like to get photo cards). I also finished shopping online for the few friends whose children we give gifts to. It felt so good to have those small tasks out of the way. Get out the calendar and write down what events you have coming up, set budgets so that you know what you are willing to spend, make gifts now if possible. Whatever you can do now, do it.
Accept that you cannot do everything. During the Christmas season there are so many fun things to do: parties, craft, seasonal cooking, elf on the shelf, visiting Santa, looking in the shop windows, caroling, looking at the lights on the houses, reading Christmas books and watching movies. The list goes on. If your family is like ours, some things have turned into traditions that the kids (and us) want to do every year. Now there is nothing wrong with traditions, they are fantastic for family bonding and identity, but give yourself permission to not do every tradition every year.
When we first moved to the farm, we arrived one week before Christmas. Needless to say, we had to drop some of the usual craft and cooking (and many other things too!). It just wasn’t possible to do it all. I’m really pleased that we did drop some of the traditions because we gave ourselves permission to pick and choose what we do without slavishly following a list of “must dos” each year.
Have realistic expectations. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I love everything looking just right. At Christmas time, the pressure can be even greater; Pinterest, the television, and movies, all show perfectly decorated homes and happy families, and it can be hard to remember that this is not reality. The reality is that dirt accumulates, children get tired, and baking and crafting take time. In 20 years time our children won’t remember whether our decor matched and was in the latest fashion colours. What they will remember is a feeling of togetherness and belonging. Focusing on spending time together rather than having a house lit up like the Grisewalds will be more memorable in the long run.
Choose your attitude – You do not have to be celebrating Christmas at all. If you don’t want to, then don’t. If you are going to celebrate, it might as well be with a good attitude. Rather than dreading all the things you ‘have’ to do before the big day, consider how fortunate we are to be able to celebrate at all.
Share the work load. Last year we had Christmas at my parents house. My sisters and I all cooked parts of the meals, as well as my mother. Not only did it share the work load for my mother (who already had us staying at her house), but it also was fun to spend time together preparing our feast. Consider dividing up who will bring what for dinner if you are having guests. Ask guests to help prepare food. It really is fun to all be in the kitchen together, and it makes the work load feel less.
We have always tried to keep gift giving low key, but even so, sometimes I look at what the kids are given and wonder what happened to my good intentions. It’s not that I don’t want to give gifts. In fact, I love to give them. But I want the gifts to be useful and loved, not just given out of obligation. Here are some ideas to keep gift giving low key:
- consider not giving gifts to everyone- chat to extended family or friends and agree not to exchange presents. Do this now (or else have the discussion in January for next year). Just this year, we have cut out giving gifts to CB’s siblings and parents. We were all struggling every year to find something useful for each other, and it just made sense to stop. We will still enjoy spending time together, which is more important.
- limit the kids presents to only a few. The rhyme “Something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read” is often quoted as a way of working out kids presents, and it is a rule we use in our family.
- Avoid “stocking stuffers” – generally they are cheap bits of clutter that are neither wanted or needed.
- Set a budget and stick to it – you don’t need to spend a lot of money to give gifts that are meaningful, and nothing complicates life like unnecessary debt. Be honest with yourself (and others) and don’t over spend.
- Consider gifts that don’t add clutter to your house – We were discussing ideas for this on my facebook page, and I will publish a round up of ideas on a post soon.
- I have previously written about why we don’t do Santa in our house. Many people love to do Santa with their kids and can’t imagine not having Santa as part of their tradition. Consider making Santa give only one present, rather than lots of presents.
Focus on what Christmas is all about. For us, Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, and our focus should be on celebrating this. If you are not a Christian, Christmas is still a time to spend with our loved ones and celebrate together. Multinational corporations would have us believe that the only way to do this is by spending a heap of money that we don’t have, on stuff we don’t actually need. Of course this is a lie (here is a ranty post about this). All that is needed is loved ones together. All the fancy food, decorations, and gifts are only secondary to the chance to spread some love around.
What tips do you have for keeping Christmas simple? How do you manage gift giving? Does Santa visit your house?
Yep – stress will totally kill the joy of Christmas
I always have to make a conscious choice not to get carried away, because it is so easy to put unrealistic pressure on ourselves. Too many movies perhaps (though I love Christmas movies!)
Fabulous tips Jo. The biggest take out for me is the realistic expectations ones. I put way to much pressure on myself to make it all perfect like it always is in the those romantic Christmassy movies. I am definitely doing more simple this year. xx
This is a whole lot of good stuff, Jo. I also love the excitement of Christmas, and all getting together. But, you absolutely must be prepared. There's no enjoyment in stressing about it all, so I'd rather be organized x
Bring back coal and potatoes.
Your Christmas sounds similar to ours. Socks are always part of their present, as are school supplies.
I know! It drives me crazy when people moan about Christmas and all they "have to do". We really don't have to, so if we want to, we may as well do it with a good attitude.
Not that we do Santa, but if we did, I think one present from Santa is right too. If only because I want credit for buying the presents myself 🙂
I think that the age of instant gratification does make it even harder. Several times we have thought of a great present for my father in law, only to have him go out and buy it for himself (usually a week before Christmas). It used to drive me crazy.
A timely post Jo. I love Christmas but I really dislike all the hype and commercialisation of Christmas in the lead up. We keep things very simple. Santa brings 1 present for each child and fills the stockings with little things they need (socks, undies, pencils etc). It wouldn't hurt to do the shopping now as I generally do it all in 1 or 2 nights at the very last minute! For the rest of the extended family we do Kris Kringle, so only 1 or 2 presents need to be bought and I usually buy consumables x
I love the 'rhyme' for kids and Christmas. I also want the gifts to be useful and loved, not just given out of obligation or 'commercialism'. It's hard when you think of the possible disappointment .
I found a post last week – 18 non toy gifts to give to children and I'm considering a few of them.
Mother guilt is my problem.
I think edible gifts work well with adults the token 'chocolate' – we don't do other gifts because in the age of instant gratification we all buy what we want exactly when we want it.
I wish I had instituted the Santa brings one present rule when my boys were younger. Now they are older it seems ridiculous to have ALL their presents coming form Santa. I also like to idea of just stopping the adult presents. We all have so much there isn't really much we need!
This is really the first year where everyone in our family has had kids so I've made a point of talking to all the parents and we've all decided what we're giving each others kids based on what they actually needed so I know exactly what shes going to get from who and everyone is getting something they want and need and more importantly will use. That way we also dont end up with double up presents.
I'm sure there will be lots of Christmas posts around now – Looking forward to reading your ideas!
Wise words, I'm a planner too. In face, I have a "10 ideas" post ready to go about this exact topic but I worried I was too early. You have shown me the error of my ways (but now I will still wait a couple of weeks so it doesn't look like Copy McCopy came to town!!). This year I am trying to reduce the present count – slash the present count in fact! x
I especially like your point of 'choose your attitude'! And I plan plan plan, with lots of lists and it helps everything go smoothly
Wow, sounds like last Christmas was full on Rae. You sound on track now though:)
I really do think that planning is the key to keeping Christmas simple. When you have a plan you are less likely to get carried away by the good ideas you have, or the sheer panic when you have no ideas at all.
I also did all the Christmas shopping before we moved back in 2011. Another way is to order on line and have it shipped to your new address (wrapped if possible).
A great post. We are moving interstate one week before christmas, similar to what you did. Needless to say I have not done a thing about it (christmas that is). I have decided I will buy wrap and pack presents in a box labelled 25/12/14 and hope the kids don't figure it out! It will be nice to have a low key christmas with just ourselves this year.
Plan Ahead!!! I spend months planning even a simple quiet Christmas. I use the 6month Christmas layby system that the shops have and put the large or expensive things on layby in the middle of the year and pay it off. also we do have Santa but Santa leaves a small useful gift and a book. we try to use the quote above 'something they want…etc etc' and we have also spent the past few years buying outside play equipment. we love to spend time as a family and with friends and we are trying to raise the kids to see Christmas for the real reason behind it but also as time for family and friends.
A great post. Christmas should be a happy, relaxed time rather than a stressful time. I love choosing presents for people but the family have been trying to decide how to make the present thing work better as the family grows. The old rule used to be once you had kids your kids got the presents, not you. We kids brought santa to our house although christmas is a combination in my families house, a mesh of christian and 'santa'. We always got a christmas stocking from santa and one present but that was all and it worked well. Santa also never gave the 'best' present, it came from Mum.
This will be my second christmas away from family and I find the present thing hard not being around. I would love to create gifts but get stuck with ideas.
I love Crhristmas and after the disaster last year ( daughter having wisdom teeth out Christmas Eve) have checked that no nonsense this year, I am looking forward to it. Today I took delivery of two sets of presents so I'm on track x