A friend posted this on facebook to me last week, after I put up this post telling you all about our decision to stay here on the farm.
We were wondering about further down the track. Is there a general trend in this town when the kids grow up and finish school? Would u expect H, M and T would move away to study or work, or whatever, or not necessarily?Do country parents tend to have empty nests quite early?
We were just curious. We do beach mission in a country coastal town and we’ve been interested to see that most teens seem to move to cities when they finish school, for work and study. Unlike the mtns, where teens often live at home for another decade, and then sometimes just move around the corner… :):)
It is a big question, with a lot of issues in it.
Unfortunately, once school has finished there is very few opportunities to develop a career in our small town. One or 2 kids may get an apprenticeship if they are lucky, but with only a handful of tradies in town, there aren’t very many available. The nearest TAFE and University are an hour and half away. So the vast majority of kids move away when they finish school, either for work or to study. Some will return after they finish studying or sometime later (as CB has).
Country Boy and his siblings all moved out of home after they finished school. CB went to University (where we later met), and his siblings also studied.
We don’t expect my kids to move away when they finish school, but we do expect them to either study or get a job. If they could do this from home, we would have no problem with them staying longer. At the same time we know that there are not many opportunities out here, so for them to get ahead in life, they will probably need to leave home earlier rather than later.
So realistically, they will need to leave home when they finish school. Even if they would like to work on the farm with Country Boy, we both believe that they need to go and work somewhere else first to get some life experience outside of our little world here in the country. We have family that live in Sydney, and that gives me confidence that there would be people close by (if that is where they end up). We will also keep our house in the mountains – that way if they need accommodation when they first move out of home, we have somewhere for them to live (though part of me hopes they will go somewhere closer).
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| They are too small to think about them leaving home *sob* |
Country Boy and I both see the fact that they leave home early as kind of a good thing (though emotionally tough). It forces them to be independent (unlike us mountain folk :)). Just because they are leaving home, doesn’t mean that they won’t be back for holidays and weekends, and it doesn’t mean that we won’t still help them and support them. We don’t want our kids to be in their 20’s and still living at home, and sponging off us. I don’t think it is healthy for either them or us.
At some stage they have to stand on their own feet. Perhaps for country families, this phase of independence is just more defined than for kids who can live with their parents for longer.
So there is your answer – well sort of anyway. Of course it is a lot more complicated than that, and I don’t know how we will deal with this issue until they get older. We have to deal with high school first!
Do you have any other questions, or things you want to know about living in the country???
We have the dilemma that you do, but it starts earlier with us.
Our local high school isn't really an option if you want your children to get a well-rounded education. So most people around here send their children to boarding school once they hit year 7 or 9. So, I am trying to reconcile the fact I have 2 years left of my first son living at home with us.
He probably will go on to study more, and if he wants to be a farmer, the door will be open to him. But, if he is keen – he needs to go to ag college to make sure it is the life for him.
Actually, we will be pushing our children away from the land as there are many easier ways to make money in the world. It is the lifestyle and the love of the land that brings them back.
I don't know if one or all our sons will want to come back?
Very tricky situation!
To be honest, boarding school is in the back of my head too, though it breaks my heart… even if it was only for the last 2 years!
I did the last two years and there are pros and cons to sending early or later.
I have prepared my boys by talking about boarding school in a positive way and we are still in two minds as to go country or city schools. It is hard to build a successful career in a small town, but I think there are so many positives too!
Boarding school is good for independence, but I know I will be missing out on "being there" 24/7.